In the last few months, three people who would consider themselves among my biggest supporters have made the following comments about my astrology / ritual / spiritual work:
Well, I don't really think any of that exists...
I think it could work, but really not very many people would be interested...
Of course, I don't believe in any of that stuff…
What bothers me about this is not that they have their own opinions, which of course they are perfectly entitled to but rather…
...why did they can feel compelled to share them with me?!?
If they really want to be supportive, could they just keep their negative, doubtful, discouraging perspective to themselves?
In the past, when I've gone back to ask about these types of comments, I've been told
I don't think I said those words (Uh, yes, you did...they're branded in my brain!)
I didn't mean it to come across that way (How did you think "That's bullshit!" was going to come across?)
Why are you bringing our words back up against us? (Because I'm trying to understand what you meant!!!)
Their well-meaning, conscious selves seem perplexed about why they might have made such discouraging comments and insist that they don't really reflect how they feel.
Has this ever happened to you? Or maybe you've been the one making disparaging remarks despite your best positive intentions.
Welcome to encounters with the subconscious: deep conflicting aspects that can undermine a conscious desire to remain loving, positive, encouraging, and upbeat (about yourself or others).
Sharing your dreams, discussing taboo desires, or revealing your deepest self triggers a deep fear, wound, social conditioning, or prejudice that your listener (which might be your own deeper self). They might not have consciously been aware of this, but boy, their subconscious knew, and the challenging emotion, the urge to squash, or the desire to keep you safe reached out and throttled the conversation's positivity.
In my example, I think my discussions of astrology, spirituality, and hearing voices triggered Hyper-Scientific Imperialism - my term for the ultra scientific or fact-based perspective that feels compelled to impose its view on those who live with a different set of facts. (My apologies to anyone who coined this phrase if I heard it somewhere and don't realize I pirated it!)
“I don't experience spiritual connection, and such cannot be proven, so it does not exist.”
“I can't pinpoint the mechanism for planets’ affecting human lives, hence they do not.”
It's like people who are red-green color-blind insisting that everyone else is making those colors up just because they can't see them.
Bear in mind that, for thousands of years no one knew how the bark of the willow tree relieved pain, but doctors still used it to help people. (Now we know it contains salicin, which forms the basis for the active ingredient in aspirin.)
I had to ask myself, “Do I want to let Hyper-Scientific Imperialism colonize me?” I don’t think so… so I’m working on strengthening my own, independent mindset.
Here are a few other tips...
Recognize that your opinions can be completely intellectually and energetically separate from your listener's subconscious (even if that's your own trauma or fears). Any negativity does not have to affect your estimation of your ideas.
Your negative impressions of their remarks may not have been at all what they consciously intended to convey. You may need to give them the benefit of the doubt or ask for confirmation about whether they really intended to be discouraging. (Their negativity may actually be actually be a background process unrelated to your content, like yelling at your kids after having a bad day at work.)
Depending on your desire to speak up for yourself or your listener's potential receptivity, consider whether to express how their response made you feel. You can't control their response, but you might get valuable feedback, and expressing your experience can solidify your confidence in your own value.
In astrology, this is a classic Scorpio moment, digging deep to reveal what is beneath a reaction, avoiding being triggered by negativity, questioning whether what you experienced is what your listener wanted to convey.
If you'd like to learn more about separating the social mask from our conscious desires and subconcious influences, or you want to know how to interpret your planets in Scorpio, check out the replay of Valorie Lewis's and my New Moon in Scorpio event on her Facebook Page.
To see our upcoming New and Full Moon events, check out the schedule at this Tarot, Unicorns, and Coffee Meetup link.
Would love to hear how this is landing with you! Have you encountered your own or someone else's subconscious? How did you interact with the various aspects of yourself and your listener?