Part 2: Healing Your Authority Figure Aversion
If you haven't checked out part one of this article, I recommend you start with that at the link below. That will introduce you to the idea of limiting beliefs around authority figures, including a case study from one of my clients who found her Authority Figure Limiting Belief holding her back from going for a great new job!
Once you've read that, welcome to Part 2! The nitty gritty of improving things...
To get us back in the swing, here are a few more common limiting beliefs around authority figures. See if you recognize any of these in yourself.
I only get attention from authority figures by acting out.
Authority figures will only respect me if I sound smart, organized, caring, and [fill in the blank] all the time.
Authority figures cannot be trusted because they are only out for themselves.
Authority figures just want to use you up and spit you out. They don't really care about you.
Pleasing authority figures is the route to success. You're not allowed to be your real self.
Here's a Basic Truth: You need to appreciate who you really are whether authority figures do or not. You cannot control what others think.
You are inherently valuable. Producing things to benefit the others is an extra good on top of that, which you are fully capable of doing!
Some authority figures will care about you as an individual, and you can enjoy them to the full!
If you approach authority figures constructively and positively, many will be happy to provide support so that you can function better.
While expressing gratitude and appreciation is constructive and welcome, you are not responsible for carrying other people's emotional well-being. You can give sincere compliments, not out of fear of rejection.
Within your own mind, you are free to love and think highly of yourself! Authority figures will vary in how much they welcome such expressions of self-esteem. But no uniform rule says you must always keep my head down and make myself small.
Here are some recommendations if you find yourself with limiting beliefs about authority figures:
Remind yourself that not all authority figures are the same. When you were a kid, you had no choice. You got the parents and teachers you got - some more benevolent than others - but all dealing with their own trauma, conditioning, and the stresses of their position.
However, now authority figures in your life probably range from 100% benevolent (e.g. Divine connection) to the mostly positive (mentor or grandparent) to totally self-absorbed or self-interested (troubled parent, manipulative boss) with many probably falling somewhere in between - some by temperament, and some just depending on the mood of the day!
In my opinion, each deserves to be approached as an individual, and you will benefit from crafting a separate set of expectations and guidelines for each.
Authority figures who don't seem to have your best interest at heart require caution and careful handling. But you don't have to be afraid!
If your interactions feel constrained with those who strive to be benevolent, try these steps:
If part of you feels scared, intimidated, or dominated, feel into that. What are you afraid will happen?
Write down the list of what you encounter. What limiting beliefs would you like to change?
Ask yourself whether these are products of the past - childhood, youth, or previous work experiences.
Envision the new relationship or feelings you want to replace beliefs that don’t serve you.
Close your eyes and visualize, talk to a trusted friend or advisor, or journal, or make a mood board using images to express what your new interaction style will be like.
Find a benevolent authority figure (divine connection, grandparent, mentor, former boss or teacher who really liked you), perhaps someone who least triggers your prior limiting beliefs, and start practicing your new attitude on them. Even imaginary conversations in your mind will help realign your energy.
Live into these new, empowering beliefs. Practicing what it's like to act from that new standpoint.
Enjoy your liberation from old fearful, angry, mistrusting, or resentful aspects of you!
So how about you? How do you see yourself relating to the authority figures in your life?
We all have them. Even if you're your own boss, you may see your clients, family members, confident friends, or mentors as authority figures who need to be constantly pleased, accommodated, or placated so that they will continue to give you their favor.
If you feel into your interactions with them or ask yourself what old messages are kicking around, what comes up? How does that response affect your daily interactions with them?
Now, how do you want to change that?
Would love to hear from you in the comments! If you'd like some help talking it over, working on healing, or getting insights from your astrology chart, please contact me through this link:
Thanks for reading!