How To Use Lilith Energy to Feel Safe Revealing Your Authentic Self

Updated: Aug 24


Lilith energy helps you take a stand for your unique self! What does that mean for you? Well, what do you want it to mean?

  • Finally get out of your shell and fight for what's really important to you even if not everyone will agree

  • Learn to love those seemingly unlovable parts of you, the ones you worry just don't fit in

  • Nurture those in your world - children, friends, or loved ones - who don't fit social standards and feel like they're always in the cold

There are many astrological interpretations of Lilith, but the one I like is:


The part of your life where your flag outside the camp and take a stand for what you believe in even if it's not popular, knowing that, because you are on the side of love, opinion will eventually swing your way.

​ Lilith marks that place - and everyone has one - where you are on the cutting edge. You make the statement before it's popular. You fight for where our world needs to grow.


Martin Luther King Jr. promoting his then unpopular dream of integration

Gandhi refusing to accept the British occupation of India

Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat on the bus

Jesus touching lepers and talking to women in public

Astrology truth:

Since everyone has Lilith in their chart, everyone has some role to play helping society move forward and embrace the unembraceable.

Now, I've named luminaries because I'm hoping to inspire you about what's possible.

But working with Lilith doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself for some greater good. ​

Frida Kahlo painting honest self-portraits despite her physical disabilities

Temple Grandin using her autistic sensitivities to reduce animal cruelty in the meat packing industry

Clara Barton connecting soldiers with their families after the Civil War and founding the American chapter of the Red Cross

Eleanor Roosevelt making policy decisions instead of just acting as the First Lady social hostess

​ At first, these taboo acts offended established sensibilities, but gradually, society came around to realize these people had it right! (Hint: it will eventually realize you have it right, too!)

How to feel safe while shocking others!

Okay, as I write this, I'm starting to feel some pain in my chest, and an inner voice is telling me that this is definitely not safe! Which could sort of be true…

Depending on your context and actions, you risk anything from mild disapproval to social ostracism, and maybe even, in some circumstances physical challenge.

​ But let's take a moment to calm down any inner parts of you (and me) that are scared by the idea of stepping out: I'm not saying you need to streak in the streets tomorrow to support your favorite cause!

We all are socialized to fit in - what to wear and say, how not to interrupt people, how to grease the wheels and play the social game. And if you've got trauma from this life or past ones, you may have some memories of times when it didn't really feel safe to be yourself.

​ But don't let your fear make you pull back...

​ ​The good news is you can have it both ways: you can take a stand and also feel safe.

First, that makes it worth it for you? What do you believe in so passionately that you're willing to risk a little discomfort, maybe even a few negative consequences for the glory of standing up?

Second, let's take the time to mentally reframe and soothe any inner parts of you that need help getting on board.

​ ​

How to Use Lilith Energies:


Take a moment to visualize a world where whatever you are fighting for has already become popularly accepted.

For me, that would be a world where people are free to talk about their diverse spiritual experiences without fear of criticism or persecution. Like in our world we accept that fans of different sports teams can coexist and respect each other even if they might be opposing on game day. ​

Put yourself into a light trance or meditative state, and relax into the feeling of being safe, accepted, and free to talk about this.

Relax any tension or trauma responses that arise. Reassure your inner self that this visualization will help you heal and feel better.

Start to think about or visualize how your belief and actions create this safe world.

Imagine how thrilling it will be for young people years from now to grow up in this new environment. Feel in your body their joy and freedom in being able to experience what you are trying to create. For example, "In the future, kids will feel free to tell their parents all about the voices they hear or Spirits they see without worrying about being dismissed, belittled, or told to keep it quiet."

Flesh out the details for your inner self of this great world.

Imagine the experiences, thoughts, feelings, tastes, and smells associated with it. What will it feel like to live there? ​

Feel in your body the relaxation of tension and the release of trauma as you see these beautiful details.

Encourage your psyche to adopt this beautiful, safe vision instead of your current, fearful perception. Teach your psyche to associate this new world with positive feelings of security, curiosity, and enjoyment (or whatever you'd like to add).

Think about one step you will take to create this safe, beautiful, free world.

It might be a public step to announce your views or lobby others or a private step to release your own trauma or become more aware of what you really believe. Whatever feels safe and good to you at this time.

Visualize how this will bring your new world into reality.

It might be a practical effect, making other people aware of the beauty of your vision - like Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech whose beautiful words echo to this day.

It might be an energetic effect, adding the vibration or feeling of your vision to our collective consciousness, helping other people become more comfortable with this new reality.

It might be a psychological effect, becoming more comfortable with this energy yourself, and thus priming your psyche for future steps.

Whatever your approach, the goal is to forge your own psyche's link between creating this new world and greater inner safety. That is to say, you help yourself feel safer by actually creating a new, safer environment.

​ As you soothe your psyche that it's safe to let go of the old fear-based vision, you'll discover this is a little bit like getting a toddler to drop the scissors by replacing them with a favorite toy. When your inner self becomes enveloped by this safe, interesting, enjoyable new vision, it will spend less time focusing on the old insecurity and fear.

Of course, Divine love planetary energies are here to help!


This post was inspired by our Spiritsaid Style Meetup "Nurture Your Unique Heart" Cancer New Moon and Lilith Conjunction event where we discussed this process, plus a meditation and ritual to help you get there!




​If you are interested in more New or Full Moon events, or you'd like more suggestions on how to use astrological energies to uncover your authentic self, shine your light, build your business, or enjoy your work, please check out our upcoming events. ​

I would love to know what you think of this idea of actually making yourself feel safer by creating a world that feels safe for you instead of perpetuating the illusion of safety by hiding.


This fundamental perception shift is key for releasing fear-based behaviors and limitations.

​ ​What might you be afraid to create in our society? Is there anything your soul longs for that you want to see for future generations?

What's your biggest challenge in freeing those inner, creative parts of you to work their beauty out in this world?

If you are looking for an opportunity to feel more comfortable nurturing your unique self, I hope you'll join us at our next New or Full Moon Event.


Photos of Robin Pool by www.michaelweller.com. Highly recommended if you're in the Portland, OR / Vancouver, WA area!




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